So, you may have all noticed that yesterday was the end of the world. 21st May 2011. No? I didn't notice either must've been a quiet one. Oh, sorry, what I should've said is one tiny church full of fucked up morons decided it was the end of the world yesterday. And they were wrong. As so many before them have been.
That's right. One tiny sodding fucking church, and they probably didn't even believe it themselves. I mean, in the last few years I can think of a good half-a-dozen-times some cult of brainwashed fucktards have decided a particular date means the end of ze world and then... nothing. But what I want to know is why are we giving these fucking morons mouthpieces? Column inches, tv time, the Western World's media is happy to relay the bollocks that these fucktards are spouting.
WHY!?
Even WORSE than this is that some people have been actually and genuinely WORRIED that the fucktards might be right. If you'd went on twitter yesterday and searched on the hashtag #justincase you would have seen hundreds of tweets from people repenting for their sins and begging forgiveness "just in case" the four fucking horsemen of the apocalypse are getting ready for their ride of fire across the sky. WHAT THE FUCK? What the fuck is wrong with people?
If you ask me, the whole thing was just a cynical ploy by church leaders. Get them publicity. Get them in the news. Get people talking about them. Sure, they will be inevitably proved wrong but they can just do a quick handwave and say "oh, um just a miscalculation, we were out by 18 months because we forgot to carry the 2", and hopefully have converted a few more easily-led morons into their religion. No offence Christians, but that's kind of the thing with Christianity isn't it? The hard sell. The importance on Conversion.
With all of these people enthralled, scared and enraptured by this apocalyptic prediction I am seriously thinking of starting my own religion. "The Cult of Fanny-ology". Though shalt always watch thy X-Factor and smoke thy Lucky Strikes and induldge in the drinking of the sacred water from Jacob's Creek. Though shalt worship your Lord Fanny every day but especially on Thursday nights when there's nothing I like on telly and you can all film me YouTube videos to entertain me. Oh and subscribing to my Youtube channel is a given.
And then, oh Cult of Fannyists, I shall predict the end of the world. 3 weeks next Friday. And the only way to prevent the Rapture is to walk around naked and covered in olive oil all day. Unless your old, fat or ugly. Or a woman. And yay this shall please your lord and the world shall keep turning. Hey? There might be some sorry but sexy fools who do it.... #justincase ...
Fanny.
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