Aunty Hyacinth! Oh Fanny you must be absolutely LOVING that, now be on your best behaviour. I would suggest knocking her off but knowing you it’ll be obvious and you’ll get thrown in jail and lose all the inheritance! Uh I’m such a bitch! When Montel arrives back you have to tell him everything about what I’ve been up to, it’ll drive him mad! Oh and try spiking his drinks, I wouldn’t be surprised if he tried it on with Aunty Hyacinth if you can get him off his face!
Anyway, Amsterdam is amazing, after I left the docks at Den Haag it didn’t take me long to hitch a ride. Since I figured none of these dirty foreigners could speak English, instead of writing a sign I just drew a picture of me in a suggestive position. Well anyway, some rough piece of trade in an Edam Lorry picked me up, and guess what – it turns out most people over their do speak English so they’re not so backwards after all! It only took about an hour to reach Amsterdam, and once we were there I paid him off on the top of a pile of stinky cheese and set off on my way!
Amsterdam is gorgeous, I mean really Fanny it’s pretty amazing, it makes Bristol look even worse if that's possible. The culture, the shopping, the atmosphere.... oh who am I kidding I've just spent the whole time in the red light district! Sex shops, brothels, saunas AMAZING it makes Old Market Street look like a cardboard box with a rat living in it. Well obviously I don't have any money but luckily I managed to get a job at a gay massage parlour. Gonna keep this one short and sweet as I have to get back to work, listen I'm gonna see if I can do a job over on one of the rich clients. WIll keep you updated!
Stay in touch!!!!!!
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